Remove the History

There has been much agitation in the past weeks to remove the statues and the names of places that bear witness to the ‘White colonialisation’ of South Africa.  The statue of Cecil Rhodes at Cape Town University, the name of Rhodes University in Grahamstown, the statue of Paul Kruger in Church Square and the statue of Jan van Riebeeck in Durban are the first examples of this urge.  One may wonder whether this trend is driven by the upcoming municipal elections, given that the Whites in the country are increasingly being held responsible for the failures of the ANC Government.  Jacob Zuma has said that the problems in the country, from the state of joblessness of the poor to the abysmal performance of Eskom, all stem from the arrival at the Cape of Jan van Riebeeck.  However, in the same vein, we have some further proposals to make, to assist in the removal of all traces recording the contribution of the Whites to the country.

Let us ban the use of telephones, an invention of a White who, no doubt, had the deprivation of the Blacks as his main objective.  Let us destroy all computers and cell phones, also invented by Whites.  Let us scrap all the cars and trucks, the trains and aircraft, all invented by Whites.  Let us dump our supplies of medicines, invented by Whites, as well as all the medical equipment, following the example of the Department of Health, which is already far down the path of abandoning these instruments of evil.  Let us stop the production of electricity, an invention of Whites and brought to this country by the colonial masters, adding to the efforts of Eskom to drive us all back to the good times of Shaka.  Let us complete the work of the SABC in demolishing the institutions of radio and television, also inventions of Whites.  Let us add to the efforts of Jacob Zuma and Thabo Mbeki in abandoning the principles of democracy, a system of oppression of Blacks which was introduced by Whites, and, while we are about it, let us also recognize that Karl Marx, the founder of Communism, was also a White.  Let us destroy the rifles, armoured cars, fighter aircraft and bombs of the Whites and equip our army with the short stabbing spears and rawhide shields that were so effectively used by the great King Shaka and his impervious regiments of Zulu warriors (totally ignoring the fact that both the idea of a stabbing weapon – a sword – and the ‘bulls horn’ tactics of Shaka which have been claimed to have been the greatest innovations of that King were well described by Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great thousands of years earlier in writing, which Shaka and his mighty nation of Stone Age warriors had not yet developed until the Whites arrived to educate them).  We could add a liberal dose of muti, derived from the hearts of the Whites, to make the new breed of warrior impervious to the modern weapons of the Whites, as was shown convincingly in the Massacre of Marikana.  Let us follow the example of the Departments of Education, and formalise the destruction of the system of education.  Let us drive all formal industry from our shores – Shaka did not have industry at the time it was introduced by the colonial masters, so it must be bad!  Cosatu and its trade union associates have already started this process.  Let us introduce violence and fear into the Councils of Government, by bringing in armed thugs under the guise of Police to expel all Members of a Party that has the nerve to question the State President on his illicit use of State funds (the taxes paid to a very large extent by the hated Whites and their organisation).  Let us introduce the notion that the President and the ‘Black Royalty’ are above the mass of people and so not subject to the laws and rules that apply to the rest of us.

Let us return to the peaceful and productive Stone Age society that prevailed before the Whites arrived in the country, bringing with them absurd notions of rule by law, of democracy, of education for all, of responsibility of the State and its instruments to the people.  Let us all live in mud and grass huts, as did the mighty King Shaka, and let us all submit to the violent and bloodthirsty dictatorship that characterised his rule.  Let us return to drawing our water from the rivers, ignoring the fact that those who live upstream dump their filth and their excrement into those rivers, to flavour the water that we drink.  Let us return to the idyllic days, where men were warriors and did little more than drink beer while the women tended the fields and produced the children as the property of the men.  Let us hand back the properties of the Universities of Cape Town and Rhodes to the Rhodes trust – we no longer want any part of the education that that vicious colonial master provided!  Let us dismantle the railways that Rhodes instigated, following the example of Spoornet.  Let us hand over power to the effective and benevolent leaders of our nation, and no longer demand that they account to us, the people, for what they are doing with the money they take from all of us.  Let us ignore the statements of the White-dominated Ratings Agencies – we will in any event refuse to accept the investments that the hated Whites make in our country, which is always done to impose their neo-colonial rule on us, and we will refuse the Aid grants made by them to support our fight against HIV/AIDS, our hospitals, our education system, our striving for democracy.  We will succeed on our own, ignoring the fact that our national economy is dependent to over 70% on the White colonial masters.  Let us drive the White managers, bankers, industrialists and engineers from our country – one Black man is as good as any ten Whites, as has so clearly been shown by the resounding successes of the BBEEE and land distribution policies.  Let us cancel the contracts of the White consultants, who claim to have been propping up our bumbling efforts to run our major State activities, from Government Departments to State-owned entities such as Eskom and SAA.

Most important of all, let us now cease the lip service we pay to the notion that Whites are welcome in this country.