Is Jacob Zuma a Humorist?

Jacob Zuma has proved conclusively that he is the world’s greatest humorist. 

1.    He has opened the World Economic Forum in South Africa.

2.    He has given advice to the world leaders on the development of an economy.

3.    He has stated that the greatest priority of people in Government must be the creation of jobs.

4.    He has said that his Government is fighting corruption at all levels.

5.    He has stated that a good education system is essential for the development of an economy.

6.    He has explained that Africa is enjoying the fastest economic growth of all continents.

7.    He has said, with a laugh, that African Presidents should obey the Constitution of their country.

All of this against a background of:

1.    His refusal to pay back any money on the R246 000 000 State subsidy for his private mansion at Nkandla, a desperately poor area, although the Public Protector has stated unequivocally that he and his family have benefited unjustly from that funding, in contravention of the Constitution.  His refusal comes after a year of squirming, of finding compliant Ministers and State employees to declare that a swimming pool is a security measure, that a costly auditorium is required for the security of visitors to his homestead (ignoring the fact that he has three official residences, the repair of the fencing of one of which cost R30 000 000 last year!), as well as justifying other excesses.  All this for a President who is paid a salary of more than ten times the average salary for a State President!

2.    The payoff of several senior investigative officials amounting to tens of millions of Rands.  These officials were dismissed from top positions after it was found that they were not qualified for the position bestowed on them by Zuma.  One of these was paid a retrenchment of more than ten times his annual salary after he had been in the job of head of the National Prosecuting Authority for less than a year, including many months of suspension on full pay.  It seems that the way to become wealthy is to get a State top job, threaten to tear the lid off Zuma’s activities, and then be dismissed with a huge payoff!

3.    The crashing Rand dropping 2% in one day, with more to come when the ratings agencies publish their downgrade of South Africa from ‘marginal’ to ‘junk’.

4.    The worst growth rate of the economy since 2003.  The annualized GDP growth for the first quarter of 2015 was 1.3%.

5.    The rankling of South Africa as third worst in the world misery index, beaten only by Argentina and Venezuela.

6.    The lowest business confidence index in five years.  Business confidence has never been rosy in South Africa since Zuma became President, but the latest result is a new low.

7.    The announcement that the unemployment rate is now above 26% on the official figures, with the real rate being over 69%.  Youth unemployment now stands at 51%, notwithstanding the Government plan to create five million new jobs by 2019.  If one strips out new Government jobs, employment creation has been negative since Zuma came to power.  Government employs over 49% of all salaried persons.

8.    The denial that South Africans are xenophobic, despite eleven foreign shop-owners being killed, and dozens of their stores being torched.

9.    The trial of a senior Police officer on multiple counts, including one of murdering his girlfriend’s lover.  This Police officer was charged with these crimes after a high-profile arrest, and the charges were then withdrawn after, rumor has it, he threatened to spill the beans on some of Zuma’s activities in using the Crime Intelligence Service to spy on political enemies, including several ANC ‘comrades’ who, in Zuma’s twisted world, were gaining the popularity needed to unseat him.  Uneasy sits the head that wears the crown.

10.  The growing flight of foreign investment capital of the country.  Even the most foolhardy investors are reading the writing on the wall.  South Africa is flying full-speed into the wall.

11.  The publication of a book by a noted foreign financial journalist predicting that the South African economy would crash within two years. (RW Johnson - How Long Can South Africa Survive? (Jonathan Ball Publications))’

12.  The statement by a senior official of FIFA that the South African Government had sanctioned the payment of a ten million dollar bribe to secure the 2010 Soccer World Cup, with denials by the South African Minister of Sport being refuted.  The bribe was paid over, in traditional South African fashion, in the form of bundles of $10 000 each in a briefcase in a Paris hotel.  The first real story about a bribe being paid related to $20 000 000 being transported from Dusseldorf to the Geneva bank account of a top South African politician.  The politician has since dared anyone to provide proof that any corruption took place, carefully avoiding the numerous requests by the German Police for assistance from the South African Police, after they had found a document agreeing the terms of the bribe in the German company’s records.  The South African Police terminated the investigation, claiming that they had insufficient evidence (ignoring the six million pages of documents in their possession) and the fact that they would have to request the cooperation of the German Police (which thy had studiously ignored for the years).

One has to admire his thick skin!